Sometimes we find ourselves in the midst of a drought, a raging tribulation. Sometimes we’re so deep in our suffering that it could feel like the rainstorm which we are longing for, may never, ever, come. This, my friends, is a loss of hope. The correct term for this exact feeling is despair.
At one, if not many, points in my life, I found myself stranded in my own personal desert. It was inescapable, or so I thought it was. It seemed like everything at that point in my life was negative, like there was no “good” left for me. Joy and peace seemed unattainable and I often felt my feet crumble beneath me.
Frankly, there wasn’t a sole reason for my feeling of despair. It was more like every little thing that should’ve been “normal” was backfiring on me. Like most of everyone else, I depend on happiness and goodness. It keeps me sane, it keeps my little soul alive and well.
But the minute something negative happened in my day, I would immediately shut down. I often said things like, “I had such a bad day because of ‘insert bad moment here’.” This became a regular thing for me. Over time, I became a very unhappy person. Everything that came out of my mouth was a complaint. I became someone that my friends didn’t want to be around… I became someone that I didn’t want to be around.
Like probably a lot of us, I used Snapchat as my scapegoat. Since I had my closest friends available at just the touch of my screen, I used Snapchat to rant about my “terrible day” to them. I did it so often without realizing it; it soon became a second nature to me.
One afternoon, I received a text from my friend Chris. Chris was honest with me. He said, “Lola, you’re always so negative. It’s not good for you. You’re becoming someone that people may not want to be around.” Though I was so grateful that he was honest with me, this constructive criticism was unbearable to hear.
At that moment, I evaluated myself. I despised the person I had become. After time, I came to the realization that, “Bad moments don’t make bad days.” I repeated that to myself until it was imprinted on my soul:
Bad moments don’t make bad days.
Bad moments don’t make bad days.
Bad moments don’t make bad days.
Now that my epiphany had reached its peak, I was still conflicted. I wanted to make a change in myself but I had no idea how. I reached out to one of my best friends, Josephine. I told her my situation and she was so glad that I came to her in my time of need. She admitted that she had experienced despair in the past, just like I have… but it took her a mere twelve months to finally find her way out of it. She advised me to take it one day at a time. She said,
“We tend to focus on what goes wrong during our day. We trick ourselves into thinking that good doesn’t exist. At the end of your day, write down as many little good things that happened throughout your day. It can be as simple as someone making you laugh, eating a cookie, or seeing a dog on the way to your desired destination. Over time, you will come to see that at the end of your day, all those small good moments add up to make one giant collection of positive things.”
Bad moments don’t make bad days.
I regularly text a close friend of mine, Hannah, from New York. I always keep her in the loop about my life, and my current situation came up in conversation. Hannah, being very similar to me, admitted that she had been struggling with the same thing. We made a promise to each other, that every evening from that day forward, we would text each other three positive things that happened throughout our day, even when it seemed like we had a terrible day.
In such a simple way, Hannah and I held each other accountable. To this day, we still text each other our three highlights every night. As the days proceeded, we have admitted to each other that we have become more joyful individuals. Some things that Hannah and I have texted each other are:
“I got pizza with my best friend.” “I prayed the rosary today.” “I killed my calculus test.” “I took a spin class.” “I took a nap after school.” ETC., ETC., ETC.
Bad moments don’t make bad days.
Not every day is going to be a walk in the park. In fact, it may seem as if there is absolutely nothing to smile about some days. Bad days do exist, but a bad moment is not equivalent to a bad day. You’re allowed to have bad days. It only gets complicated when you allow these bad days to control your heart, your soul, and your mind.
When it seems like nothing positive happens during my day, I always keep this in mind: Even simple things like, “I woke up this morning,” “I had food on my plate,” and, “I have a roof over my head,” should always be graciously acknowledged.
Bad moments don’t make bad days.
Not only did I realize that I had to change something about myself, but I kept Jesus in my mind through it all. In the course of a few months, it just so happened that I found my rainstorm. I was finally clean.
Remember, there is a purpose for this desert that God put you through. He will never leave you stranded. He puts certain people and experiences in your life for your greater good.
There’s a quote from Catholic speaker, Sarah Swafford that I keep as my home screen on my iPhone: “Striving, not perfect, because perfect doesn’t exist.”
“You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
{John 13:7}
